Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Deep In Silence .. And Then ...

People asked about the "no-comments" on my blog
I already know whats coming if I a-llow comments ..

... flip-flop flip-flop flip-flop flip-flop :-)

I was particularly traumatised by this experience. Like! You know! Higher mind meets lower .. or even lower .. and one just has to deal with it.

It must have been too silent that night; but let's begin at the beginning. In those moments where you are ultimately happy... That is when the flop happens! Always!

To those of you who know the cat servants .. don't tell them I posted this! Thanks!

When I arrived after my long flight (90 minutes), it was so uncool to have to drive another hour from the airport to arrive in the boon dogs. I mean .. why can't they get an apartment close to the airport?

The drive home took longer than a flight covering half of Europe !! There was worse to come. I had to sleep in the closet-room for "guests" .. and the two of them were so nice about it. Smiling, and thinking .. she will never come back after this one...

Even worse than that the cat servants tell me in happy excited voices: You even have your own toilet, Su .. like that's going to impress me. I find out that the toilet is bigger than my sleeping room.

Okay! But .. I was dealing with an Irish American and a Swiss intelligence officer (you can strike out the word "intelligence"), and I am a full blood Scots. So, it is easy to predict who is going to win this .. right?

After two hours not sleeping I wonder if it would be better to drag my bedding into the toilet and sleep there. But, that is such an uncool thing to do, that I decided on another strategy.

The Room Upstairs

Where would you rather sleep, in this room or in a shoe box !! So, by morning I had such bad allergy reactions to that room :-)

No! No! Please don't die while you are here .. die later .. when you get home. And .. look .. you can sleep up here. The biggest room in the house :-) I felt pretty cool...

Of course, I had no idea what was coming down the pipe! I was in 7th heaven. Every window on the top floor open .. both balconies open. The silence was so silent, you could hear it .. and the crickets sounded far away - so intense was the silence.

I am falling asleep happy and content .. little bit more falling .. next stage before switch-off .. and suddenly !! It starts...

It is 2 AM / 3AM and every dog in the surrounding neighborhood starts barking. I mean! ALLOFTHEM ... and I start to get nervous, because they are all barking with such violence. Like .. the killer bark. So, I am imagining something really strange is setting them off .. because they are guard dogs.

Little did I know the trauma that was about to enter my life. It came out of the deepest darkest distance. Not faint! But loud! Flip-flop flip-flop / flip-flop flip-flop. And I thought: What the f#ck !!??

The worst of it is you are listening and listening .. and it never ends. Flip-flop flip-flop / flip-flop flip-flop. Imagine the same tempo as a woman in high heels .. but apparently it is a man. Flip-flop / flip-flop (short steps - high speed) that seems to last forever. And the flip-flops echo louder than the barking dogs.

The phantom flip-flopper reaches the big heavy metal paper, glass, plastic, bio bins right opposite the house. I hear this massive metal YEURrrrGh (extend a few seconds longer) .. and then CRAaaaShhhhhqueek (make that one loud).

I am totally traumatised .. thinking .. that Irish American is TOAST when she gets up. Nobody warned me !! They pretended later that no one can predict when he strikes.

Then it gets worse ...

You can hear him so loud all the way back to the top of the road .. flip-flop flip-flop / flip-flop flip-flop (always in a cadence of four). We could not reproduce the sound with multiple pairs of flip-flops .. he has to have them specially made!

Of course, I cannot believe someone is taking out trash between 2 and 3 AM .. I turn over and start to fall asleep. There he is again .. doing multiple runs .. flip-flop flip-flop / flip-flop flip-flop... Worst of all is you you are listening intensely to every flop.

This goes on four times - back and fourth with the chorus of dogs barking in the background. I decide not to look, because the sound of the flip-flops are bad enough .. and I do not want a visual impression.

We check out the garbage in the morning. I mean! Who takes out garbage in the middle of the night? But the floppers are never heard during the day! Never!!

So, the Swiss intelligence officer appears on the balcony after we go down to check the trash .. with a can of WD40 in hand. He shouts down: What are you two doing down there??

Oh! We're just oiling the door of the trash cans :-)
In truth, we were checking them out to profile the flopper.

The first trip to the trash cans must have been the fresh yogurt carton container. The second trip must have been the popsicles carton, the third trip must have been everyday trash and the last trip must have been the fruit/veges in the bio bin.

So, we know he's a health nut who likes ice popsicles!

How can I - as a videographer - film in this stress?

They asked me why I just did not go onto the balcony and look down at the guy?

I mean! Obviously I would not have seen him with my sunglasses on! But you were sleeping! Sunglasses at night ??? A videographer is never without their sunglasses .. even when sleeping .. that would be so uncool !!

Flip-flop flip-flop / flip-flop flip-flop :-)