I left the sanctuary .. to find the sanctuary within.
I had already planned my life as a small child... I was going to live alone in the Highlands close to the sea .. as far away from human civilisation as I could get! And! Close to the source and the spirit ancestors .. guides .. teachers. That was my sanctuary: The mysterious spirit world of Nature .. mountains, rivers and streams .. the sea and the sky!
This drawing is a rough first sketch of what happened to my plans, passions and desires. I had found the perfect place .. the perfect sanctuary .. where I felt at home within the untouched uncorrupted power of the spirit world. A place where the ancestors and the invisible worlds touched the physical Earth - our world.
I knew from an early age I had to work on myself. I had done it many times before, in other lives. At school I would silently practice inner gazing .. magnified seeing and projected astral travel. At night I would waken up in two places at once. My body was lying on the bed and I was lying in the garden under the trees. Both forms were awake and aware. I was 12/13/14 years old when this was happening.
I had a strong mind and I taught myself discipline of the mind. I was preparing myself for an even greater .. more arduous journey. My self created sanctuary in the mountains as far away from human distraction as I could get. This was my singular passion .. my singular desire .. my future! My search for inner balance!
However, I was eventually to learn the strange duality of passion and desire. When in balance - within the human being - passion and desire are one unified force. They are the forces .. the work of art .. that draw the coloured lines onto our spirit and into our lives.
I saw through my studies .. still only practicing altered awareness .. inner seeing .. inner spiritual discipline and inner observation - when at 23 years old I decided I had done enough. It was time to use my skills to establish a sanctuary in the wilderness and leave the world behind.
I travelled into the mountains alone to see the way ahead and ask for guidance. I had no other interest in life other than to carry out this task and live close to that which I desired most of all. This had been my single minded passion since I was a young child. Now was the time to do it ...
Telling this story is the only way to visually show you in words the strange duality of desire and the strange duality of passion. Not only is there duality in man and woman .. male and female .. but there is duality mirrored / reflected inside us.
According to our character each of us manifest various balance between yin and yang / male and female .. but no matter what the variations it is always balanced. What I mean by that is that we are who we are at the level of our being at any point in our life / development. If balance did not exist in all forms then we could not transform .. change or progress!
Balance is always the key, even when it is unseen / hidden!
Duality of Passion and Desire
I was three days in the mountains seeking guidance and on the third day the silence was broken. A powerful presence descended into the valley. This powerful presence filled the whole valley with a crushing intensity. This was my first lesson in the hidden duality of desire and the two levels of being. I was to leave the mountains .. leave the valley .. never to return! And I was to find that which I desired most within myself!
I left the valley .. I left the mountains .. and I never looked back! Over the next twenty years I discovered the inner sanctuary while living inside the distracted world of man. If I had turned away from this vision there would be no art .. no videos and no blog... I would not be here!
This is to show the mystery of desire and its strange duality.
I lived my passion .. I lived my vision .. but not far away in my isolated mountain sanctuary. The energy and presence of the mountains was inside me .. and THAT is why I could feel their presence so strongly .. transforming my inner being .. my mind .. psyche .. heart! Life is a mirror!
The Nature of Desire
The energy of desire is part of life. To see the beauty of the world we live in .. to look at the sky .. the stars .. life is extraordinary and those moments of magnetic contact with all aspects of our world is natural connection.
Immature ego-self comes in thinking "I want that..." "I want this..." I want that..." Never satisfied .. always wanting. And that is one level of relationship with desire.
We have other levels! The man or woman who goes into isolation and says: I want to overcome desire... The energy of desire in direct relationship with us says: Okay! Let's do it! Let's overcome desire!
I am trying to show that desire is like a magnetic mirror or a magnetic window serving us and endlessly giving us what we want. However, the strange duality of desire also manifests in consequences. Therefore, the energy of desire takes the form of what we seek and at the same time there is unseen portal of initiation teaching us about ourselves.
In my case I was shown my own selfishness in a private review of my desire to go hide from the world and seek my own "enlightenment". I was also shown to follow or enter into direct relationship with the energy. Don't think! Do it!
So, seeing is incredibly important when interacting with the energy of desire. Passion is also part of this mysterious teaching. The energy mirrors us .. showing us ourselves. One has to pay attention and observe .. not have lazy mind .. always thinking .. wanting .. chattering. We have to learn to listen .. be attentive and have a quiet mind.
Passion is the energy of awareness .. energy of seeing!
|Slightly more refined :-)|
What I am trying to convey is that when humans mindlessly run after every want and desire physically and psychologically they become exhausted and empty. Like driving a car endlessly until there is no fuel (energy) left in the tank.
That is the duality of desire: Action and consequences.
The magnetic mirror of desire .. in direct reltionship with humans .. is always testing out and showing us where we are. And on base level physical reality it is like a carrot on a stick in front of the donkey! The base human keeps going after the carrot!
There are other more powerful levels to relationship with energy of desire .. this involves passion! Then the mirror becomes a window or portal where the guidance / the outer journey or path takes place within us.
The outer journey and the inner journey become one.
You waken up in two places at once !! Hahahahaha